The Saddest Hour of My Love "Smile." - Nat King Cole
I reluctantly opened the bathroom door. I undressed slowly, as if I could still avoid the whole situation. I took a deep breath and timidly slid the rear shower door open. With a smile I knew was going to fade shortly, I joined her in the shower. She smiled. "Babe, I need to tell you something." Her smile was still bright as the sun while mine started to fade. Ignorance is so bliss. “There was more information on the reports I haven’t shared with you.” As I paused, her bright eyes faded into a confused look. "They found two masses in my liver," I continued, holding back a flood of emotions, my eyes containing the tears like water at the Hoover damn. "My mom thinks I have cancer. She’s pretty sure I have cancer."
Dawn's lips began quivering. “Is that what the Doctor said?”
"The G.I. never mentioned it specifically, but my mom was positive that she was trying to tell me that I have liver cancer." Her face became increasingly worried. Stay Strong.She looked deep into my eyes. She could see through my façade. She touched my face. Her lips trembled like a rolling earthquake. My eyes started to well. I held her as I let the water wash the tears away from my face. I could feel her breaths. She began exhaling in pulses. Stay Strong, Jona.She began voicing her cries. The Hoover damn collapsed. We wept. We wept truthfully. We wailed, hearts broken, our tears flooding the bathtub. We wept some more, holding each other tightly. I had never in my life cried this much, this long. I tried hard to control myself. True emotions can't be harnessed in this world. Science can only define them. Laws can only gauge them. Emotions are truly beyond this physical realm. Time can only suppress them. After what seemed like an eternity, I gathered myself.
"It's Ok," I gasped
"Are you sure it's cancer?" She asked. I heard a faint hope, wishing my answer would sooth her.
"We won't be sure until the biopsy. Mom is simply being a mom, “ I whimpered “It’s not the end. There’s still hope.”
We looked at each other, teary eyed. I smiled. She tried. Our smiles matured into true happiness, accompanied by shivered breaths. We still had each other. “Everything will be fine,” I uttered softly, still holding back sadness “We’ll be alright…We have each other.” She looked up at me. Her eyes showed sorrow, but her face was bright. We smiled.
We rocked back and forth, our arms wrapped around each other, our lungs palpitating with synchronized sighs. The running water drowned the sound of our whimpers. My head was bowed. I opened my eyes to a mixture of tears and water flushing across our skin and swirling down the drain. Please don't let this be, I asked looking up, the water cleansing my face. I smiled, hoping God would show mercy within the biopsy results.