I wish I could be the comic relief of the hour, but sadly I knew I’d have to leave that up to my sister, since she seemed to be the one with the funnier memories.Though I suppose the memory of him farting on my face the time we were on a family vacation in Lake Tahoe could constitute as humorous…in retrospect.
Perhaps I don’t have as many funny memories because I always felt like I had to be a mother to him.Not that my mom was a bad mom by any means.I’m just a producer by nature, needing to be in control runs through my blood.And Jonathan was also type-A, well apart from the fact that he was always late and absent-minded, but he knew what he wanted and how he wanted it.I discovered that more clearly this past month when I was on “nurse duty” for a week.Thank God I had back up a couple of those days!Jonathan wanted a feeding at 6, then 10, then 1, then 4, then 7. All on the dot. But before the 10 o’clock feeding he needed his aldactone, and right before that he needed his Valtrex, crushed, and dissolved in half ounce of water.And with every feeding it was 2 ounces of water to flush out the feeding tube, but it needed to be in a separate syringe.And before the 4 o’clock feeding, he needed a cup of low-sodium broth, warmed up for 40 seconds, followed by a popsicle, only the strawberry kind and it had to be sugar free.And that was just the half of it.And if you didn’t get it right, you got the “c’mon!where did I get lost in translation?!” speech.I have to admit a couple times, I snapped back with “Look buddy, you’d better chill out and show more appreciation or you’ll be losing your nurse REAL fast!!”It still didn’t put him in check.
Though the past 3 months have been the hardest months of my life, I have learned some valuable lessons: to live life to its fullest, to appreciate the time you spend with family and friends, and to remember to tell those you love that you love them….because things can change in the blink of an eye.
I remember so vividly the conversation with Jonathan.It was July 8th.I had just hung up the phone after talking to my mom, and she’d asked “has Jonathan called you?”“No,” I replied.“You should call him.”I knew something was wrong.I dialed his number.“Sarah!” Jona always answered his phone that way when I called him.We talked for a couple minutes, I could sense he was dodging bad news.“Mommy told me to call you,”I interrupted.“Well, the results came back and they’re still not sure what it is,” he said, trying to keep an optimistic tone, “but mommy says they were trying to tell me it’s cancer.She thinks I have cancer.”
My heart broke.God, why?Why Jonathan?Why so young?Why my family?A thousand questions clouded my mind.When I finally pulled it together, I asked Jonathan, “Do you think this is a wake up call from God?”“Yes,” he replied. My eyes began to well up with tears, but at that moment, I knew things were going to be alright.I knew that God had a plan in all of this.
Shortly after being told the news, Jonathan called me and said he wanted to create a blog so he could convey his thoughts and allow people to join him on his journey.Fittingly, he titled his blog “A Series of Fortunate Events.”And it couldn’t be more true.Because of these events, Jonathan had the fortunate opportunity to renew his relationship with God.As you heard in earlier emails Jonathan had written, he knew ONLY this, something beyond his reasoning and that required faith in something greater than mankind, would give him the wakeup call he needed.I wish it didn’t have to end this way, but I know that because of it, Jonathan is now in Heaven and that I will see him again.So for that, as strange as it might sound, I’m thankful that God allowed these circumstances to happen.
Jonathan, I love you, I’ll always cherish the memories we shared even if the majority of them included you pestering me in some way.
The next song that will be sung is called Letter of Love.In putting together the details of today, we stumbled upon the song and after reading the lyrics, knew it was perfect for the service.I was waiting to hear back from a couple of different friends I’d asked to sing when I walked into my parent’s house this past Tuesday afternoon.My mom was on the computer doing more research about the song.She discovered that the artists, a group called The Kry who is originally from Quebec, had created a French version of the song for an album released in 2007.She asked me to email them, hoping maybe THEY would come sing it, and sing it in French.So, being the great daughter I am, I did….. though I must admit as I was typing the email I thought my mom was crazy for even remotely thinking the band would agree to come.It was 4 days before the memorial service, and this band wasn’t some po-dunk no-name band.The Kry has been nominated for a Dove Award, their albums have hit the Top Christian Album Billboard charts, and they’ve toured all over the world.So it was with great surprise that the very next day, I received a response from them saying they would be honored to attend and sing at Jonathan’s memorial service.I could hear God’s voice, mockingly whispering in my ear, “Oh ye of little faith!”
It is with great pleasure that I introduce The Kry, who will be singing Letter of Love in both English AND French, in honor of Jonathan, who loved the French language and some of whose final words were spoken in French.Please follow along the lyrics on the back of your program or up on the screen, and hear it as a letter from Jonathan speaking directly to you. -Click Here for the song and Lyrics